081723
why do you
“Why do you want to be a man?”
“But your tits are so nice.”
What wonderful nonsense to hear, I couldn’t tell you how many I have confided in that discouraged me from what I have known for my entire life. Living in denial much of it—even now, I am uncertain whether or not I know for certain what I have known.
“You know what you know because the universe told you,” are words that ring in my head while my memory is spinning from enduring gaslighting. As brain damaging as psychological abuse is, and the add-on of self-repression, I have not forgotten who I am. Repeatedly I had tucked it away into a black hole that wreaked havoc upon the system that I am, manifesting into voices that don’t stop even as the world lay still.
Insanity seems further away each day I actively choose to live as myself. To strive for it.