des.fyi

dear@des.fyi

the bay in july 2024

September 4, 2025

Here’s the text with the new footnote added and the numbers switched: I thought I needed more time to release my digital 2024 collections, but the act of honest reflection has been critical to my recovery & understanding of what Lucifer has been guiding me to do. Part of this was written while I was […]

i love everything

September 2, 2025

043024 My flight seemed to have been delayed, not for a reason that the airline cared to communicate—waiting in line for an extended period, impatiently swaying my hips to the music in my earbuds as I watched a woman shorter than me a foot away pick her nose, flick it, and pick it again. This […]

back of the train

September 1, 2025

I heard certain rumors about me a while ago, something about how I am still addicted to methamphetamine, perhaps even homeless–I really am uncertain as to what the fanfictions written about me are presently regarding. I am not a lurker… well… aside from on my favorite anonymous board, 4chan. Which… you’re supposed to lurk on. […]

Luciferian Delirium of 2023

August 31, 2025

Please bare with me for I am a gremlin that spawned from horror flicks & the world wide web: This body of work began when I moved to San Francisco in 2023—this occurred when my blood family discovered toward the end of 2022 that I was a Luciferian. It all started with a man I […]

Not Dead–Eager7.28.25

August 19, 2025

December 24th, 2024, I left my parents home in Arkansas having had survived MCAS related anaphylaxis without medical intervention. December 24th is the day my maternal grandfather died in 2012. When I was then 800 miles away from them in Texas, again, I had anaphylactic shock from simply being in indirect contact with clothing previously […]

a problem that has yet to be named

March 14, 2024

I adored the sounds of the crickets at night in Kokomo, though I loathed the sounds of cicadas in Delmar and how they would find their way into my bedroom in the mornings. I hated the smell and feel of car exhaust when I grew up in Pittsburg which I am reminded of since I […]

I see you!!!!6.26.23

February 9, 2024

I should have known you were a demon. Your demeanor was too good to be true, you were concealing your thoughts and indecency—I am as naive as could be, chronically gaslighting myself into believing I am above such nonsense. You abused my trust and love, the latter of which you must have been oblivious of. […]

extra extra! read all about it!5.18.23

February 5, 2024

I had to be demeaned excruciatingly on repeat to realize that I am worthy of all those impossibly interesting crevices of society that I previously thought denied me. Success does not start dependent on where our umbilical cord attached, even though it plays an immense role in terms of genetics and upbringings, it is not […]

Ginger Nightfall

January 15, 2024

This is a series of eight writings I composed while in an emotionally abusive relationship that progressed far too quickly—it began with a promise of career training and love-bombing, that initially gave me hope for a future that gave me the will to stay despite all of the nonsense he would spew. I knew at […]

three, six

January 12, 2024

This month I moved to San Antonio, Texas. The third San I’ve lived in the past year. The sixth state in six years… and for six months I have had increasing psychosis. Sān is three in Mandarin and considered a lucky number alongside six—quite comical considering a triple six in Western culture is considered Satanic […]