des.fyi

dear@des.fyi

071224

I grew up with an older brother, a little over a year apart, we were raised together and extremely close. Fundamentally, we are a couple of autistic bastards, though we do have a Father, our Mother was the one primarily raising us. And while neither of us carry a diagnosis, the symptoms are obvious in hindsight as an adult. Our Mother was diagnosed as having Aspergers as a child, she did not speak until she was about five years old, and she had somewhat of an idea on how to raise us to behave as “normal” children (debatable). We are not stupid by any means, but society has been a puzzle I’ve been attempting to piece together for the entirety of it.

I understand the beatings now as I failed to communicate adequately. Flashbacks of this are consistent when I am triggered and struggle to speak. It became even more clear when I was getting neurological issues in San Antonio, TX, due to the airborne gluten from the food manufacturers. Speaking felt like knives stabbed into my frontal lobe, alternating between the left and the right.

The fear of having an autistic child is present even in a parent who is autistic, and in fact, might be even more-so, considering the parent has a very personal and traumatic experience with being autistic. It was better to beat me into compliance than to allow an outside force to take advantage of the naive state that autism brings.

With the blatant consideration of autism as a neurological disorder1 that has a spectrum, and might be managed through increased blood flow to the brain, enriching activity, healthy diet, macro doses of antioxidant rich supplements–this leads to another consideration: is the increase in autism related to the end results of industrialization stripping the soil of nutrients and polluting our air with neurotoxins? We then must take into account the impact that vaccines have had, and I do think it is an utter atrocity that parents would rather allow their child to die of preventable disease than risk the horrific diagnosis of autistic, however, this is a very real phenomena that I do not believe should be undermined nor demonized. To be exposed to the code of deadly and/or debilitating illness is a stressful and traumatic event to a child’s immune system, and I do not think autism is necessarily a negative result of it, it is a result of the immune systems heightened intelligence that then increases overall awareness.

IVVI

  1. 090425 I concretely believe that autism is Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.