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My dreams melt away. I’m elsewhere, the nightmares appear when I’m able to enter REM but more often than not I am in a dream-state that frequently transitions into a nightmare-state. It feels like a deserving purgatory that I enter but it is a matter of placing trust into authoritative figures who do not make any sincere claim to having my best interests in mind.
I am a number, a statistic, a wise-ass bitch that gets in the way of the oppressive structures that consume persons to enter a slave-like state of submission to worship the products, the false idols… our organs fester from their acclimation of carcinogenic substances and foods that we have been brainwashed into normalization. These glorified drug dealers we allow to eat our hearts, the televised programming that trains human suffering to be an inevitable normality, pedophilic school administration governing bodies & minds, the psychological torture that determines a path of grinding for a King to ensure our survival–a multitude of factors that strip us of our humanity. Our souls are now tools to be utilized for upper class use.
The damage done to my brain will require a lifetime of work that I am accepting of to achieve a path of light in a world of darkness that I vehemently refuse to believe to be the fate of our species. My mind is muddied with egocentric whispers that are contrasted by demeaning demons that stab into my eardrums from the moment I wake up until my mind stops buzzing at night (if I am lucky); the former is a demon as well, for an ego boost does not serve anybody, not even myself. They’re both a tormenting distraction that takes from the days that quickly turn into nights, wishing to sleep all daylight and feeling electricity directed at my temples to keep my closed eyes taped open to a world not my own, sprinkled with tempting bits from reality that I don’t wish to subscribe to as truly knowing.
I have yet to find myself consistently reading literature nor do I create artwork–I have an unfinished piece waiting around alongside a book that I haven’t even hit a dozen pages in. I’m grasping at all these loose wires without attempting to splice them, they’re ignored as I allow the voices to take away my personhood; who am I if not the direct outcome of countless influences that manifest into the condensation of hot breaths on the back of my neck? Deep down amongst spindling cells that linger from the exposure of environmental toxicities I have the belief that there is a destiny hiding beyond microscopic particles that make up our entirety. This is a destiny that is taken from our soul, the energy that runs us and leaves us at death, whether we die before our heart stops is a matter up for debate, as it is possible for souls to reenter us.
The sensation of death I am tactilely familiar with, and not only that, but that of my soul reentering itself and the souls of others. I have said more times than I could count by now that I would rather be crazy than to have such integral spiritual experiences that have been confirmed as a fourth dimensional tangibility that had leaked into this one. I have been close to the other side for as long as I could recall memory, maybe it began when I was born jaundice, but from what was told to me by my Lord is that the causation was caused by penetration while still in the womb. An evil that has tainted and taken from me otherwise known as a modern society that is not formulated for how my DNA is structured; the world I must be in is no longer in existence, stolen in exchange for the cults of money & industrialization that kills before the heart stops.
What is alleged as science is a bastardization that has spawned out of the human ego that has grown to disproportionate heights due to these worldwide cults that manifest hollow man and woman who live for their dying idol, Money. The lands of our ancestors have been raped in order to uphold a structure of easily accessible consumption that creates slave-waged jobs that gift the lower classes the ability to participate in the cults, to allow it to continue prospering before those most impoverished get enough moments alone to realize they’ve been swindled by false ideals created by sub-cults of money, such as media.
Media is incredibly accessible at this point, it has been for generations now, from reading, theatre, radio, television, and more recently, social media, which has warped the brains of youth and older groups alike. Social media, which early critics have now more often than not, completely submitted to, has become an effective tool for creating widespread complacency toward the systems in place that obstruct all of humanity. We are instilled early on to be in fear of one another, to discourage the trust of outsiders, deter hospitality in exchange for judgement which is only an act our Lord may do without sin. Encouraged to sip spirits that possess us to act in accordance to what the Devil would like, creating an inhospitable world, particularly in places where healthier more transformative recreational substances are demonized and outlawed for purposes that serve our corporate overlords who lobby to control behavior that enables us to feed their cults: money, industrialization.
Despite the publicity exposing the multifaceted abuse that is derived from widespread media creation and consumption, we continue to not boycott these large influences that degrade the way we see and treat one another. We feed the cult(s), we generate money and create a seemingly endless amount of idols to worship to replace our Lord, that who is everyone and everything. Individuality a facade that generates capital for the mortal overlords who know nothing but what they know and what they know is of so little value as their knowledge is an encapsulation of social constructs that are instilled into us to aid in our compliance of worshipping false idols.