070724
The static exists and does not at the same time. It fizzles and cracks, filling the mind up with nonsense. There is not a buzz about you, nor does anybody talk about you. Even if they should, they do not, because your experience is so familiar and far out of left field–you co-exist on every plane without being understood as an individual made up of every man who has ever stumbled upon your mind.
A lifetime of white noise, of hearing the growth of my own hair. Nights unable to breathe adequately, all in vain for my parents did not have the capacity to care for me in a manner that carries meaning.
They rabble on in my head so loudly, an amalgamation of dysfunctional homes and faceless entities upon a computer screen. Seldom do I trust what I hear, but the words that pop up before my eyes are an internal presence that I hold dear.
I do not know what to believe, or whether or not I should care for the voices that linger at every corner of the lands I wander. I walk and walk, hoping to escape the ghosts that whisper needlessly about every second of my pain filled life.
How much longer may I go, until I am unable to no more?
While I may have found the man that I believe to be the one who was made for me, will it be enough to aid in my shaking off of the dark figures that cloud me with judgement and past misdeeds?
It is all hopeless until hope is found. The light in the darkness is a sound found beneath the electrical whirring of everyday activities and it is up to me to decide whether or not I opt-into accessing it or continuing to keep my ears open to the negativity that defeat me & prevent the accomplishing of my life’s purpose.