052223
lonesome; creeps upon me
The sadness begins to flood as I reveal my heart, blood dripping off my sleeve, streaming down my face—won’t I find what I’m looking for? It cannot be this lonely, can it? It seems nonsensical to me to be unique with layers of complexity, I want to look into someone’s eyes and know I’m understood deeply, from skin down to bone. It’s a fantasy to be seen for all of the right reasons, I might be a clean surface but that does not tell the extent of my story.
Is there something wrong with me or is it them? What’s in my blood that makes me desire all this knowledge and fun? I trust myself, is this such a crime in itself? Why would I wish to chisel insecurity into stone?
At this point, I’m uncertain what I’m looking for; I keep searching with these men falling over me, why are you hiding away? Are my hopes suffocating me from living a reality of simplicity or is this pace of which I have been dreaming and seeking?
Layers of thoughts riddled with questions I await the answers of—setting them out into the universe, can’t I be heard by the energy remnants of old? Oh, I know it has been a while since it was such a concentrated effort forth, but how hungry I am for divine intervention in this transitionary period.
Drool branching off in the dirt turning to mud, this insatiable hunger to hold the universe in my hands. Apologetic for the covert droplets of interest that often times splats onto your face, but I can hardly contain the excitement aching inside that comes from intently listening to you speak about what is unknown to me.
The rules in place continue to grow stale, they’re rigid in their placement and seemingly produce a determent from soulfully beneficial enjoyment.
Delusional with my lust for you, relentlessly chasing what you put out into the world.