042723
onetwo..onetwo
He was an okay man, I made him uncomfortable with the uncertainty that I had, unknown to me the agreement that is an obligation prior to such an arrangement. I do not think I will ever hear from him again, though I wish him the best on him and his partners journey towards the life they’re hoping to find in such a treacherous city.
Put me in choke holds, tell me how you know pressure points—not a single indication of fear upon my resting face, he doesn’t know what to make of this demeanor I carry with.
I made a mistake allowing this to happen, and he made a mistake allowing me to observe the scenery from his balcony. I will never forget the way he treated me, a worthless sack of flesh that he thought he could pull a quick one over. No. I will not forget his face nor the look on his alleged cousins face, as if his flatmate has pulled this bullshit before. Did he think I could not see the peeling of the couch hastily covered with a folded blanket? The inconsistencies of his words, lots of gas but not a flame lit to allow destruction. Push my boundaries, what does he think this is? My intelligence made his dick limp, he could see the disagreement in my face as he explained away the laziness he exerts at his work. Spoke up a big game for a man hardly above my stature, I could tell by his frame that I’m stronger than his lameness. Prior to physically meeting I explained that fingering is a boundary, I thought it unnecessary to elaborate that this is due to being molested as a child—he tried to get a finger in, he asked me, “is this real?”
I’m the man. This is known. I have given birth to a child of my own, but my mind and energy makes it abundantly clear that I am a man with power that surpasses material reality.
His two door Mercedes-benz was a fun ride, but I speculate whether it was even his to begin with. I could tell by the way he drove he didn’t know, when we got to his place the rubber was burnt. Another man playing pretend. He acted like he thought about the arrangement, I know I cost far too much—it wasn’t for him, and he is not for me.
Oh but I do hope to see him again… under better circumstances.