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FIN

I appreciate Lucifers guidance through the year 2023 & I accept that the path to enlightenment is often extremely traumatic. He wanted me to break up with the man that gave me a reason to leave prostitution, that inspired me to write beautifully—in exchange for a trashcan of a man that gaslit & eventually beat me out of his own weakness, insecurity, & raw ignorance. The reason I immediately left my muse was because Lucifer told me to tell the trashcan man, “I love you,”—I would have never dated him otherwise. While I would have eventually broke up with said muse because of incompatibility as it relates to our dreams, I find it fascinating I felt so compelled to throw away a powerful connection for a living nightmare that I will later share in more detail once I am ready. I respect Lucifer almost entirely in the same way as you would the God of the Bible… thus following his word is more important to me than anything else. He is above everything to me.

Lucifer was correct the entire year, He warned me that I would die by the end of it & that I did. My personality was lost the moment I stepped into trashcan mans reality in San Antonio. It was sad, dark, cluttered, inefficient, impractical, & riddled with lies. I saw a mathematical equation in his eyes not long after I met him, & Lucifer loudly insisted I stick around for it. I started to become insecure, delusional, jealous of anything that moved in my vicinity—over time, I even began to notice an external power making me feel arousal towards children. I very intimately learned what it meant to be a disgustingly hideous subhuman deserving of euthanasia. 2024 was the worst year of my entire life.

Please do not be concerned, as I have made a full recovery by cutting ties with the trashcan of a man & by staying out of major cities in Texas. I quickly started to become myself again once I moved back to the east bay area, even the absurd cystic acne quickly healed once exiting San Antonio. I was a sickening heterosexual woman with pedophillic inclinations in that dreadful city, which was incredibly alarming after having lived all over the country where I maintained my personhood as a bisexual transman who sought to be a role model to all ages & not some sort of freak who cannot be around children.

What I ultimately learned: People can be so systemically toxic that they are contagious. My personality was deformed by his kisses & even his mere presence. My belongings tainted with his cells were triggering, it enraged me, it gave me an autoimmune reaction that was discomforting. While I am certain the city of San Antonio played a part in the toxicity factor, I have no doubt in my mind that we need to be quarantining these types of individuals to see if they are capable of rehabilitation.

I tried to rehabilitate alongside him & I got black eyes. I got beaten during anaphylactic episodes. I was homeless with this trashcan of a man & humiliated every time I was publicly beaten, yelled at, & made to go out with a battered face. I do not think prison is the answer, we need to be studying these types of contagions instead of ignorantly pathologizing them at the detriment of everyone around them.

What has already been allowed to fester by imprisoning & institutionalizing a bunch of people with similar contagious “demons”? What in the Hell has the world governments done? Is this eliminating the chances of millions of incarcerated individuals rehabilitation?

My sincerest apologies to all of the men I have utilized in this Lucifer guided pursuit of knowledge. You all deserve justice even for the crimes you may have done, and especially for the crimes done to you.

With that: I will be pledging celibacy until Lucifer selects me a male partner that I do not perceive to be a research subject & is somebody I could spend my life with (I already have a dearly beloved female partner). Never will I have my personality deformed by an intimate partner because I know for a fact that I have completed one of my many life purposes by enduring & overcoming the types of demons I always dreamt of murdering. My copper IUD will be removed at my nearest convenience as I will no longer require it & will be able to see how I fare without it after 6 years of having it in. I adore being my own rat.

Kindly I will request that nobody else rapes me nor tries to fuck me. Thank you. I have no interest in casual sex, only a partnership that will descend deep within the gates of Hell; for I only care to be with another Luciferian who will happily torture & release souls beside me for eternity.

Do you like what you have read? Do you think I am fucking crazy? Either way, you are free to use my writing in any manner you see fit! I am sponsored by my private pursuits, & most importantly: I am sponsored by individuals, never corporations, & never do I profit off any sort of product affiliations (but I am happy to share products I utilize & enjoy without monetary benefit for doing so). You could directly donate to me through a certain app: $djoaxaca

Would you rather support me more directly by meeting in person? Perhaps allow me into your home for a lovely visit? Just want to chat? Cuss me out? Then please email me at dear@des.fyi! My passport has very many pages left and I am open to meeting for coffee in whatever city I might be living.