100523
chance
im taking a fucking chance
yet another pitiful attempt
in this desperate life
of constant crimes
& dating guys
trying to find
any true soul
to merge with my own.
i have tried
and i have cried
dying as no being
could see what lies inside.
mangling my entirety
in the hopes of eternity
mind encephalizing
with eyes discombobulating
comprehending all of humanity
turning & flickering amongst me.
looking into everybody
to find nothing of which
that i find enchanting.
to then be located
while hopelessly!!
pursuing a dream
to heal my dying body.
and now:
you have found me
to be guided
and i…
to then be in return.
now:
can you see all the demons
who lurk behind me?
they crawl to the darkest trenches
of our society
to protect and serve
this energy they are eager to preserve.
it is not only to disturb
but to show there is something more
than the game we are told
pulling rugs from underneath feet
to then learn
of the blood crying out
from the earth down below.
please do not cower
at the higher powers
who hold me dear
they may have allowed
my death repeatedly
their voices still lingering
indeed wishing to continue
instilling terror within me.
it was all for the training
to be this person
that all who had said they loved me
attempted to eliminate;
to strip away my strengths
they were unable to hold dear.
and yet
you found me.
so that i might then clear away
your blood still dripping
from a ghostly mirror.
wont you let me show you
how beautiful the evil
that once tormented me
could be
with your calm demeanor
before me?
wont you look me in the eyes
to tell me
what ways
demons have derived energy
from your suffering?
while i cry and say
it was all for a reason
but that your destiny
did not have to be so full
of lies and fears?
can you see the universe
the way it sees
humanity?
do you understand
we will spend this lifetime
uncovering the incomprehensibility
of everything?
please
wont you do it
beside me?